I have lots of loose ends out there this week… Do I talk about the Paul Simon album, our kids’ school transitions coming up, the absolute misery vs beauty of the world, the book I’m reading, my art journey, I mean so many things I’m thinking about.
May is such a busy month. May-cember, am I right? It’s this spirit day, and this letter day and this celebration or the last concert or the last assembly or field day, graduation, clap out, etc etc. It’s amplified by the fact that we have a 5th grader and an 8th grader, so lots of celebration about their upcoming transitions. I thought this year might be easier because I don’t work in a school anymore, and it has been, but May is S O B U S Y.
Our summer is busy too. Our two big boys both have week long summer camps and the biggest one has two week-long summer camps. Of course, this is all happening on weeks we have the kids, so we are really sad. I mean, excited for them but sad for us somewhat because that’s a lot of time away. These are bookended with the oldest taking a trip with his mom and the other three taking a trip with their dad. Kareem is also going to be on a trip at some point. Last year, we had a similar thing but with only one kid. Now it’s everybody! So we are trying to be really intentional about building in meaningful connection time for our family now and throughout the summer.
I’m so ready for summer. We are not traveling this summer (shock! gasp!) so I don’t really know what to do with myself. I am just working on planning next year’s trip- haha! So I am kind of excited about the space that affords us this summer. We are going to do some camping and probably a Saturday night away, but that’s it. S P A C E. B R E A T H. C O N N E C T I O N. That’s what I’m hoping this summer is about.
In my most recent career iteration in public ed, I was a school principal. And every Friday (with occasional exception), I would send a Friday Memo to the whole staff. This was a practice I inherited from the principal before me and he from the principal before him and so on. I think we all probably got it from hearing Todd Whitaker speak, as it was a cornerstone of his practice. Anyway, the point is that I did this. It was often a point of issue for me. I would take down things to make sure I included over the week. I would languish over the color theme and make sure it was aligned to whatever holiday or season we were in. I would link helpful or just uplifting or fun resources and included memes to make it lighthearted as the world of public ed can be so heavy. Most significantly, I would very intentionally pen an opener in each and every one.
This opener would be specifically and strategically designed. It may be tone setting or a response to something going on in our school community. It may be to share something, celebrate, or help shape a narrative- possibly correct a false one I could see developing. Sometimes it would be to build relationship and camaraderie or to challenge staff to do something. Sometimes it was vulnerability. But always it was written by me.
I left that school mid-year. A very weird thing to do, but I had to make a really hard choice and I chose my family. That’s not really what all of this is about though. In my new job, after ninety days, I had to take a DISC assessment. This is a personality test. I took one in 2017 at the beginning of my admin career. I was curious how much it might change. It didn’t change at all.
Maybe you have taken the DISC before and maybe not, but as a refresher, it ranks where you fall within four personality types- Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. It gives you a “profile” based on how you rank in these areas. My type is the Communicator.
The Communicator has a very high effectiveness in relationship building, persuasion, and influence. They are people-focused and outgoing. That’s all true. I had a meeting with a lady to help guide me with my DISC assessment results. The same day, I read about the tragic loss of the original and queen of mommy bloggers Dooce. (This post is not really about her death. Very very tragic to hear this news and of course, I send prayers, love, and light to all her loved ones grieving this tremendous loss. Certainly not to make her death about me- the connection is just that it got me thinking about that time on the Internet.)
Dooce started blogging in 2002. I have blogged in some capacity pretty much since I was a teenager. I love it. And I remember following many so called “mommy blogs” in the aughts. Dooce was one that I had heard of at that time. Anyway, thinking about Dooce again after all this time, it made me think about all those “mommy blogs” and what happened to them.
They kind of died out a little with the rise of various social media platforms and “influencers.” Some continued to evolve and go with these changes, and some did not. Some continued to blog, some died out. I continue to blog, and back then, I was fairly successful with a few thousand blog followers. I had some blog friends and went to blog conferences and things. It was very fun, but I was not making money. I got some free stuff, but I didn’t really like that very much. And I don’t really love the influencer culture now. So much of social media is about consumerism and buying and I don’t like that very much either.
Anyway, thinking about Dooce and the other blogs and my own blog, I was thinking about what compels me to continue this blog. I found so much value in sharing and in communicating, both producing and receiving. I found so much connection and consideration in reading the words of mostly women sharing their thoughts and their lives. I share pictures on Facebook. But I like to record and reflect and remember. That’s what I like about the blog. But what I miss about my old blog is some of the authenticity, the candor, the sharing. Same as what I miss about the Friday Memo.
It’s funny because sometimes the Friday Memo felt like such a chore, but I felt like it was very very important. Because communication is so important. And I always put a lot into that opener in the Friday Memo. It was a communication tool.
As I considered my DISC assessment and discussed with this lady yesterday, she kept applying it not just to my professional life but my personal life. She was like, this applies to how we relate in our families too and with ourselves or when we are stressed at the workplace or elsewhere. I hadn’t thought about that.
She also talked about what “brings me energy.” I loved how she framed this. I was asking her about how I can make up for my shortcomings on the list of strengths. I was concerned about things that weren’t as developed as my colleagues. She was like, you’re not making up for anything. Those things aren’t weaknesses- it’s just not something that “brings you energy.” She said you just have to be aware of when you have things you have to do that don’t bring you energy so you can put systems in place to be sure you’re doing them in alignment with how you can best accomplish them and spend time doing things that do bring you energy to best contribute and be your best self.
Well guess what. I’m the Communicator. That brings me energy. So I am going to spend time with my blog. I’m going to try to do a Friday Memo- probably not every week, but from time to time. Not about a trip or a hike or a recipe, but just for sake of communicating. For old times sake.
Kareem really wanted to visit Toronto as he has an aunt there and an affinity for the city. So we spent a couple days there.
His aunt was so gracious to us. She provided us lodging and tons of food while we were there! It was my first time meeting her, and she was so very kind to me and all of the kids. As a blended family, I am sensitive to how people treat our kids. I am really fortunate that my family views all these kids as family and treats my stepson the same as any of the others- sometimes even better haha- but not every family is the same. So it was appreciated that she was so welcoming and loving toward our kids.
We had kind of a funny snafu at the hotel. We were supposed to have two beds and a sleeper sofa which is what we will typically do. Trio on the bed and Rami on the sleeper sofa. We had two tiny double beds and a chair. So Kareem asked for a roll-away bed. They brought us a crib. Apparently, they didn’t have any roll-away beds and they were completely sold out so we couldn’t switch rooms. Jimmy was like, I can do the crib. So he did, and we made Rami a pallet on the floor. We enjoyed a huge Egyptian feast provided by Kareem’s aunt which was so welcome as we arrived late and had a stressful drive through some weather on the way there. We ended the evening feeling full, happy, and sleepy. The way it’s meant to be.
We visited downtown and had two priorities- the CN Tower and the Royal Ontario Museum. We were able to visit both and both delivered!
When we arrived in the city, we took the subway which, as you now know if you’ve been following my blog, the kids love. When we emerged from the underground, we just happened to be smack dab in the middle of an outdoor art fair!
So we enjoyed that for a while and took a few pictures with the Toronto sign. These city signs were a feature of our trip- we found them in several of the cities we visited.
We made our way to the CN Tower. This was really fun. We were on the tail end of the trip which had been really really great. We were all feeling the high of being together and in new places together, so the experience at the CN Tower was a bit magical. We took lots of pictures of ourselves and had lots of laughs. The views of the city and the lake were gorgeous, and I really enjoyed the views on the elevator ride.
We explored the city a bit. It has less of a cosmopolitan vibe than Ottawa and Montreal. It felt more like Chicago mixed with a splash of London than the other cities we visited.
We did visit A&W and Tim Hortons on our trip- two of Kareem’s top priorities. đ We also went to an absolutely beautiful Chinese buffet with his aunt.
We had lots of choices of museums and attractions in Ontario and Toronto, but I chose the Royal Ontario Museum. It had really fabulous reviews, and we certainly found out why. It was a vast museum full of amazing artifacts from cultures around the world. We had some really important conversations and the kids had great questions.
The natural history on display was spectacular. Jimmy especially enjoyed the prehistoric creatures!
There were lots of kid-friendly and family-friendly exhibits that were hands on. We all enjoyed these Canada-specific exhibits about ecosystems and seasons.
Kareem enjoyed their very large and detailed Egypt collection. Actually, all of us enjoyed this. One of the best I’ve seen.
Rami’s birthday was at the tail end of our trip, so that was part of the appeal of the ROM- they had a special Harry Potter beasts exhibit that presented the magical beasts comparatively with real beasts and their adaptations. Rami is an HP fan, and all the kids LOVED this!
The museum was beautiful and a really great experience. We spent a long time there and probably could have planned another day there for real. The kids did not tire of it and there was a lot to see.
We also planned a night out at Medieval Times for his bday! I am a sucker for Medieval Times, the Stampede- any kind of show like this. Rami was knighted for officially becoming a teenager!! We all had a blast on our last night in Toronto!
From Montreal, we headed to Ottawa. An absolutely beautiful drive. We actually saw purple rain! Among other things. Glorious.
We only spent one day in Ottawa, and this is somewhere I would very much like to return. Ottawa is the capitol of Canada, and has a very cosmopolitan vibe. Lots of diversity in people and cuisine here. I was really really wanting to spend one extra night here to see the light show on the capitol buildings, but we weren’t able to. Next time!
We started our time in Ottawa at the Royal Canadian Mint. There are a couple of mints in Canada, and this one is where they make the very special coins. It was a really thorough tour. We also got to see them actually making the coins, and throughout the tour, there were displays of historic currency and the story of Canada and its currency. We finally learned what a loon is and the significance of it! We couldn’t take pictures inside the mint, but they had a gift shop with some displays where the tour met and ended. They had a real bar of silver the kids got to try to pick up. They got a kick out of that.
We walked around downtown. This is the capitol of Canada, so we walked by lots of government buildings, including parliament, and embassies as well. There were many many choices for food. We let Lucy choose (I don’t remember why now), and she chose a Cantonese stall in an outdoor food hall. It was absolutely fantastic. The kids all made choices outside their comfort zones, and we all enjoyed a fabulous meal!
We walked around some more afterward and got some treats at a bakery and enjoyed the sights and smells of Ottawa.
There is lots more to explore there. This was kind of a last-minute diversion, so we definitely need to return as a destination. I really liked what I saw in our short viist!
Of course, as I mentioned, we were budget conscious. So we didnât eat out all the time. We visited the market and bought some fresh fruits and vegetables as well as freshly baked breads and pastries for breakfasts. We visited a supermarket to stock up on some snacks. We also ended up staying in kind of a party area of town that had lots of pubs and restaurants. Our American family of six was somewhat of a novelty in some of the places we went to, and we ended up getting some deals just on our good looks and charm. 😉Â
That’s a coca cola, promise.
We also did not eat in the most popular touristy areas if possible. This was for budget purposes because places in these areas are usually more expensive, but it was also just to get a sense of the culture of the life in this city. We went to a small local bakery/cafe where the lady working there was just so impressed with the kids trying to speak French and the size of our family. She gave all of them little cookies and pastries to try. I think she just wanted to her them say “merciâ and it was well-appreciated!
