truth

State of the Blog Address

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Hello.

It’s been a while.

I’ve been distracted.

And I don’t just mean I’ve been pregnant and having a baby. Or changing jobs. Or blending a family.

Recently, I realized how out of touch I have been. I’ve been on a ride. The past few years post-pandemic have been rife with change and constant adjustment. We have been out of routine for so long… what even is a routine? And the coping skills and mindset I had when my world fell apart and I got divorced have escaped me. In the midst of all these things, I have felt like I was doing little more than surviving. Going with the flow in a way that wasn’t positive. Being shackled to a schedule I wasn’t managing.

After the baby came, I had some time to reflect. And while the world looks lots different today than it did years ago, one thing is for certain- motherhood, wifehood, and family remain my number one priority. And this has dictated all of my choices the past few years. And it is time to prioritize the things that ensure that I am my best in order to serve my family. That includes prioritizing my health and home and being the best example I can be to my family.

I have been wrestling with a scarcity mindset lately. Feeling less than, feeling like I didn’t have enough, that I wasn’t enough. I think that’s been the biggest difference between then and now- when I was afraid of having nothing, I practiced gratitude for what I did have and it made all the difference. Lately, I have gotten away from that. And in the face of this economic and emotional climate among other things, I need to get back in touch with that.

I have a lot of art supplies sitting at home. I’ve been part of a Book of the Month subscription service and haven’t read the books. I have a billion hikes saved and recipes and family activities pinned that I haven’t hiked or made. Instead of searching for what’s next, I’m looking for what I’ve got. I’m resourceful! I’m creative!

I’m cooking through my Pins.

I’m reading my books.

I’m creating my art.

I’m using clearspace to manage my phone time.

I’m hiking my hikes.

I’m doing FHE.

I’m getting back to me so we can be us.

This blog has been a lot of things over the years. And I really love blogging. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s popular or gaining traction. What’s making money. My blog has never been a money-maker. At its height, I have had several thousand followers and received free products. That was years ago. Then I thought it could be a helpful tool for families and people trying to engage with the outdoors. Now, I think I want it to just be what I want it to be. And I want it to document my/our journey through cooking through my Pinterest board. Making family memories with less. Regulating myself so I can help my family do the same. And I’m going to blog a little as I go as well.

I don’t know that I really need a big announcement to change direction, but I wanted to express what’s been on my mind for so long.

Welcome back.

I Love a Challenge

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It’s World Watercolor Month this month. July. For me, typically, this would mean that I would look up the prompts, write them all in my day planner, and then do all I could to create AT LEAST thirty-one works of art that match the daily prompts, all in watercolor. I would post them with the hashtag. If I missed a day, I might do two the next day. If I knew I had plans that would get in the way, I would plan (in my day planner) how to make up that prompt.

January. A lovely month. Fresh start, new year, all that. For me, it means the yearly daily yoga challenge. I started a Facebook group of anyone who wants to encourage each other. And I post the calendar, and I do the days, and I love it.

I love a challenge. No spending challenge? I’m down. DIY date challenge? Count me in. That ice bucket challenge? I totally did it! 52 hikes- let me do 146! Daily yoga, daily painting, read the books, take the walks, whatever. I’m in.

This year, it’s July 5. I haven’t even started World Watercolor Month. Today, I looked at the prompts and my calendar. I started to put them in. I whited them out. I made a list of things I want to create myself. When I got home tonight, I knew I should paint. I spent 20 minutes on Tik Tok. (I’m currently doing an indefinite no social media challenge except Facebook and TikTok. It’s completely arbitrary, but it’s going well.). Then I got out my palette and began gathering my supplies. Then I couldn’t find my tracing pad. I couldn’t find my box of new paints I wanted to use. I didn’t have any more paper towels and I couldn’t find my painting towel. So then I sat next to the supplies I gathered, and painting seemed like a chore. It did not feel like what I wanted to do at all.

But the challenge! Today’s prompt? “Welcome.” Today’s plan? A window with a flower box. I grabbed my computer and started to write instead.

Why is a challenge not intriguing me today??

I think it’s just because life has been challenging lately. And I just feel like doing me. At first, I felt a little like a failure, not rising to the challenge. But then I thought, who’s gonna know? Me? And who cares? Me? Do I really care about this? I’ve risen to lots of other challenges this year. How bout the my husband lost his job with the holidays around the corner challenge? How about the got Covid for the second time challenge? How about the my kid’s having trouble at school challenge? How about the we’re blending our families challenge? How about the career challenges? The life challenges? And were these fun? I mean, sometimes. There was definitely a lot of fun to be had amongst these challenges, whether they themselves were fun or not. And did I learn a lot? Heck yes. But maybe there’s not room for these other challenges right now when I’ve got other challenges to tend to.

Or maybe there is, but I’m filling that up with other stuff. Maybe it’s time to enjoy that invincible summer inside me for a while. Maybe these little not-so-little moments that make up the fabric of our lives, the weeknight ordinary evenings amongst the challenging times- the trips to the library, the walks around the neighborhood, a quiet evening hike, a couple hours volunteering at the food pantry, a fire in our backyard, a selfie stolen between moments watching our kids play in the park, friends tie dying in the backyard with us, a snuggle, a reading session outside together, tending the garden, making a new recipe for dinner- maybe those are the things I want and need to focus on right now. Or maybe I just want to hike however many times I want, do yoga as often as I want, paint however many paintings I want. And maybe I’m just going to do them on Wednesday. World Watercolor Month, I’ll see ya when I see ya.

Homebody// Love at Home

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In February, we wanted to go away for Valentines Day. We were saving money for it. And when it came down to it, it felt burdensome to even attempt. Kareem thought, well for the amount of money we were going to spend, we could buy our own inflatable hot tub! And that’s what he did. If you’re rolling your eyes right now, I was too. It sat in parts until my birthday in late April. Finally we assembled it, filled it, and let it heat up. The first night in the hot tub was truly blissful. I could not believe how much relief I felt.

Last year for my birthday, Kareem got me a treepod. Have you seen these? It’s ridiculous, kind of expensive, and incredible. It’s a “hanging cabana.” So he got this for me against my will and then it just sat around. Kareem and a friend were going to build a contraption to hang it from. Anyway, this year for my birthday, he got a stand together for it. And it is amazing!

My backyard is an oasis. My backyard dreams have really been coming together over the past few years. I got these ridiculous pieces, but I also wanted string lights since we moved in. Check. Trampoline. Check. Swing set. Check. Raised beds. Check. It is becoming my favorite place. And between every busy thing we have going on, I just want to hang out in my backyard!

We have been traveling less. Not only because it seems like our time is not ours and stuff is happening constantly, but also because pandemic and the joy of my perfect backyard. (jokes) But seriously, I am itchy to travel. It’s really the T I M E that is holding me back. I have no idea how I used to do it!

I guess one could say that I made time for it, but also I think the circumstances of life have changed. My job has changed and the commitments of my children have changed. Another huge change is sharing my kids with their dad and my stepson with his mom. There are just a lot of moving parts.

I flew twice in 2020, which I didn’t share much about at the time because it was somewhat a controversial choice. I flew to Utah and Orlando in the fall. Since then, we have mostly driven, though I did fly a few times last year. But I have not been out of the country since pre-pandemic. I had two international trips planned for 2020, but did not get to go of course. Now the world is opening up, but my schedule is not.

In the meantime, we are making things happen and at the end of the day, I have my backyard paradise. Adventure is out there, but it’s also right here. The kids are always singing the song Love at Home (sometimes by choice, sometimes by force). They’re right- there is beauty all around when there’s love at home. <3

Thursday Thoughts- A Beautiful World Awaits

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“A beautiful world awaits you on the other side of fear.”


Well, ain’t that the truth.  I seriously believe this wholeheartedly.  

This summer, we were traveling to South Carolina by way of Tennessee and North Carolina.  Eastern Tennessee and North Carolina are mountainous with the Appalachian Mountains rolling through there- Great Smoky Mountain National Park is in Eastern Tennessee, and we drove right by.  If you’re not aware yet, I am somewhat anxious driving through mountainous areas.  By somewhat anxious, I mean very anxious.  And by mountainous areas, I mean southern Missouri.  But seriously- not my thing.

When Kareem found this out, he’s like wait but you climbed a mountain this summer.  Well, yeah.  And you drive all over and hike in mountains.  Well, yeah.  So you can’t be that scared!  Well, he found out.  🙂

Do I look scared?? I was terrified!

When we were planning our trip this summer, I almost changed the destination due to anxiety about the route.  Then we found a route that avoided what I anticipated being the worst of it, but it added several hours.  That was okay with Kareem, but while on the road, we kept getting delayed and we had an event and friends to get to.  So I took a deep breath, and said let’s just go through it.

Because at the end of the day, you can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you can’t go around it- you have to go THROUGH it.  As the bear hunt song says.  And it’s true.  

It reminded me of my divorce.  I spent lots of time being anxious about what was going to happen during and after.  I spent lots of time trying to prevent it from happening.  At the end of the day, I couldn’t.  I had to go through it.  And I’m way better for it.  I am not grateful it happened, I am not counting it as a blessing, but I learned and grew from it.  And on the other side- or at least further than I was at the beginning- it’s not nearly as scary.  I just had to begin.

These photos are from a trip I took at the time. This is my deep breath moment. When I finally thought, okay. You just have to accept this. You have to go through it. Let’s go.

So often that’s the case, right?  You just have to begin.  Can’t go under it,can’t go over it, can’t go around it- gotta go through it!  So let’s go.  

After we started getting through the mountains, I was amazed by the beauty.  I had moments that took my breath away- both from fear and from the magnificence. 

Sometimes, though, you make the decision to go through it and you lose resolve. You get scared again. Or you aren’t sure of yourself. That’s okay. There were moments in those mountains where I told Kareem he had to stop. He literally could not. There was nowhere to go. I had to take a deep breath and keep going.

It was worth it, in the end.  All the worrying wasn’t worth it.  And now I feel more confident for the next time.  The growth that happens through being courageous- being fearful but doing it anyway- well that growth is special.

That beautiful world awaited me on the other side of my fear.

Family Service Project: Confetti Foundation

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If you are looking for a simple, socially distant, safe family service project that literally any age child can do, here is a fun idea!

We made birthday cards for the Confetti Foundation, an organization that supplies birthday parties to children spending their birthdays hospitalized, in pediatric oncology units, or hospice care. This organization’s impact is nation-wide, including in some of our own local hospitals.

Click here for information from the foundation about making birthday cards, including some instructions and where to send them. If you have very young children, you can even download and print out color-in birthday cards from their site!

Nick and Lucy really enjoyed this project. Nick, who sometimes does not want to participate in watercolor Wednesday, was very excited about spreading birthday cheer. I also loved hearing them discuss ideas and laugh and create together.

I know the power and impact that doing service together as a family can have on the family as a whole and on the individuals, so we make it a point to do service projects every week we are together. I am trying to share more ideas here! And I welcome your ideas please!

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